Stream of Consciousness #1 c. Grace Howl 2014

I stared at the horizon searching for the smile or the eyes to connect us –

maybe it will just be you on your side of the universe and me on my side – looking longingly on the weeks, days, hours and months…

 

It was a great ride you and I

I never meant it to happen – it just did – no real thought

 

Things happen

Then things drift, disappear and change

 

Go with the flow or die

 

Each in their own world with Heroes leading them to fulfill their dreams and ambitions –

Unknown yet revealed when necessary –

Executed eloquently –

Overwhelmed by success –

Underwhelmed by life

 

Balance, sanity, it doesn’t live with me anymore …

It went on vacation many years ago

 

But she in her fine mink coat took over –

She has become a welcomed new reality that becomes me –

No fear –

Anxiety disappears –

You must drink –

Not really –

I’m high on life –

On the dream

 

Ride the wave when it rolls in – otherwise you’re beached –

Sip, taste, touch, smile, feel, love, when offered –

Take – don’t ask… It isn’t the same….

 

Keep it in the closet of your empty mind for a rainy day –

Where the cobwebs hide –

No spiders – just dust bunnies –

No one can feel them or see them –

Only you know they exist

 

Don’t move the furniture –

It looks fine right where it is –

The China doll might break if you touch the chair

Her heart is broken –

But no one can see it hidden behind the throw pillow

 

The coffee cup in the kitchen hasn’t been washed for 4 weeks –

But who’s counting – it gets scalded every day…

Then cools to a drinkable state – no one ever notices

But I did –

 

I found your face on the horizon and I smiled as I took my pills and closed my eyes – drifting into a deep slumber dreaming of you – breathing deeply – awakening to find you’d gone

 

White walls

Cream Sheets

Green plants

Art on the ceiling

 

It’s sacred space

I share it

We love it

Creative energy spews from the concrete floor

The doors are open to receptivity

The mirrors reflect thoughts and ambitions – new and old – executed and foiled

The light creates illuminations of right and indifference

And the music is a dialogue of disagreement of prose and poetry – of happiness and depression – each struggling to be the favorite child with all the attention

 

Calm down now – too many options available but no real decisions can be made – the experts know the solution or so they claim – take the pills and be quiet – it will quiet the voices

 

I like what I hear – I like the experience – I hear both sides without participating – yet the monologues get boring – I must do something to change the channel

 

Then I find myself surfing through life with a robotic remote with artificial intelligence

We argue – no one really wins – the same show repeats itself over and over and over and over until the batteries die – then the channel changes – it becomes the blue screen of death

 

What a somber thought – it wasn’t part of my plan – but then again was any of this?

Who chose to write this non-sense – very few will get it

Does it matter? I hope so – it would be nice to be acknowledged

It seems crazy or in reality it is crazy – so you just added about 10 zeros to the price tag – that’s okay.

No one will notice.

Now you can go out and buy more britches.